


Just Like Old Times

by TheDoodyPoo



Category: Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Genre: M/M, The Royal Tenenbaums - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:59:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDoodyPoo/pseuds/TheDoodyPoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chas wandered alone in the house on Archer Avenue where he'd spent his days as a child. A child prodigy to be more precise. It was also where he invented the dalmatian mice currently keeping him company, or at least he thought he was alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Like Old Times

**Author's Note:**

  * For [youjik33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youjik33/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!! I hope you like it. It's not porny so no worries there. Unless you wanted porny, in which case I apologize. Thanks for being amazing. Not to be a broken but Happy Yuletide!!!!

Chas wandered alone in the house on Archer Avenue where he'd spent his days as a child. A child prodigy to be more precise. It was also where he invented the dalmatian mice currently keeping him company, or at least he thought he was alone. (He also never revealed that he invented dalmatian mice after failing to make mice dalmatians.) 

It was an odd event to find solitude in that house. Especially, after the reconciliation of the family and eventual passing of Royal Tenenbaum. Royal's feigned brush with death had brought the family back together, but his actual departure from our plain of existence made sure that the Tenenbaum clan would never again go an extended period of time without seeing one another. They each made an unspoken oath to each other to never again be as removed from one another as they were in the years preceding their faking stomach cancer. The Tenenbaum siblings would go no more than a week without spending time with each other and their mother and her husband slash former accountant, Henry Sherman.

The lonesome quiet found by Chas Tenenbaum that particular chilly evening in November was, indeed, a unique circumstance. Since the passing of the Tenenbaum patriarch, Chas' sister Margot had once again been visited by the muse and had begun churning out screenplays at a supernatural pace. Most of the family, including Chas' two sons Ari and Uzi, were at yet another opening night for one of Margots productions and subsequent after party. 

Chas had gotten out of the affair by stating that he would be double checking expense reports and as well as be on several conference calls with foreign investors, though he had no intention of doing either. That night while Chas haunted the halls of his childhood home, Eli Cash hid in a closet that was overflowing with parlor games, waiting for someone very special to him.

"Hey there beautiful." 

Eli Cash in one swift motion emerged, without warning of course, from the closet wearing only a bear skinned coat, tightie whities and signature pale colored cowboy hat. 

Chas screamed. "Cheese and crackers!! What the hell!"

Eli screamed. "Whaaaa!"

"Damnit Eli. Did you seriously just pop out of the freaking closet! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Eli smiled slyly "I doubt that body of yours is gonna have a heart attack anytime soon compadre." He reached out and poked Chas' abs. They were even more firm then he envisioned while he waited in the closet.

Chas shoed away Eli's hand as if he were trying to destroy a swarm of knats. 

"How long have you been hiding in there?"

"Well," Eli adjusted his hat. "That's difficult to say. I found a cap or two of some pretty ferocious mushrooms in the pocket of my coat and figured I'd pass the time. I guess it worked.”

Eli chuckled and then stared into space as if he were having an epiphany. Chas was unamused. 

"Oh that's great. Fantastic. Well if you're done tripping balls in our board game cupboard and scaring the living daylights out of me, you can leave now. You know the way out."

Chas turned to leave. Eli quickly put himself in Chas’ way. He put his hand up a bit, the international sign for surrender.

"Hey hey, c'mon buddy. I'm genuinely sorry about frightening you. Truth be told, you're exactly the man I need to see right now."

He put his arm around Chas' neck. Though Chas had some initial instincts to struggle or remove the arm by force, his body simply wouldn't allow it. His thoughts became scattered and his breathing became heavy. He felt a familiar hotness in his ears that he had not felt in some time. He found himself noticing that Eli's scent was piney, like the forest perhaps, when he snapped back to reality. 

"Why would you be looking for me?"

"Well friendo, I found something else in my other pocket." 

He grinned widely. He reached into the fur coat and produced a fairly large joint of cannabis indica. He gestured with it excitedly as if he were Groucho Marx and moved his eye brows and in the same fashion. 

Chas dropped his shoulders and scoffed audibly. He hadn't smoked marijuana, or any other substance for that matter for several decades. His eyes lingered on the impressively sized doobie in Eli’s fingers. Though his face remained incredulous, he was focusing very hard on hiding his unwilling excitement. Much like his sister's vices, Chas' love of getting stoney bologna was something he had hidden from almost everyone, except of course from Margot who kept so many secrets, she could sense them on others. Ultimately, he shook his head and turned away. Eli, however, was persistent and stepped in Chas' path once again.

"Chas, c'mon. Please. Let's be civil. I know you don't normally partake and I generally respect that though I don't understand it. But listen, I'm worried about you. I know seeing Margot and Richie together must be weird for you too."

Chas was once again caught off guard. He stared at the ground in an attempt to hide his true feelings. Eli continued. 

"Besides, if i'm being honest,: Eli fidgeted with his hat and looked down for a moment. “I really miss how we used to be." 

His eyes met Chas'. They had a twinkle of genuineness and nostalgia that caught Chas Tenenbaum of guard. He saw the boy, the first boy he would ever fall in love with, that Eli used to be. He missed those days and he missed that boy. The sincerity in Eli's voice was the straw that broke the camel of Chas' inhibition’s back.

"Fine. Just this once.”

Eli smiled widely and put his hands on Chas' shoulders.

"Let’s go to the old spot. Just like old times."

 

****************************************

Chas and Eli were 14 and 15 years old. They had spent most of the day debating what the clouds looked like from the roof next to Mordecai, the falcon's, cage. They looked down at people walking by and from time to time they would spit off the side to see who's loogey hit the ground first. Eli would occasionally try to time his release in order to hit people with his accumulated saliva, to Chas' dismay. 

"Would you cut that out. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen!"

"Oh calm down Chazzy. I haven't actually even hit anyone yet."

"Well, I'm not gonna sit around till you do. I need to go reorganize my ties and make some phone calls."

Chas stepped away from the edge and made a B line for the door into the house. Eli ran after him and grabbed his hand.

"Wait! C’mon business man. Don't go yet."

Eli was holding on to Chas' hand. In fact, Eli had almost instantly interlocked their fingers together, which was the only thing that Chas would notice in that moment. Not that it was the first time Eli had taken his hand with such random affection. He felt a heat in his cheeks and ears, and a little in his chest that reminded him of overdoing it in a sauna. Eli stepped even closer to Chas and softened his voice.

"I have a better idea then. Now, just to get it out of the way, it's going to be a bad thing, but it will also be a very good thing. Do you trust me?"

"No, of course I don't. Just tell me the thing."

"Okay okay, the thing is this."

Eli put his hand behind Chas' ear as if he were pulling something from behind it. He let his fingers lightly brush Chas' ear as he pulled his hand away. Chas' whole body tingled and his breathing stopped for a moment. He was so flushed it took him a moment to realize Eli was holding what looked to be a cigarette in his hands. Except it looked hand rolled like the ones he would see Pagota rolling on any given evening when he thought he was all alone. 

"You know I have no interest in smoking a with you Eli. You can be all stinky if you want, but my Mother would actually notice that I smell like an ashtray."

Eli fixed his eyes to Mordecai to try and hide his inner devastation. Chas immediately regretted being so cold. He could tell he’d gone too far with his anger yet again. He didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. It was simply his natural disposition. However, yet again, his fiery words had burnt someone much deeper than he intended. Eli seemed to smile on a regular basis and seeing him as sad as he did at that moment was too much for Chas to handle. His resolve slipped away completely. 

He took the joint from Eli’s hand. "Do you want the first puff or what?"

Eli immediately lit back up.

"Oh no it all yours buddy.”

He put the mummified dried leaves too his lips expecting the taste of tobacco, which reminded him of burnt marshmallow smell. Somewhere between clicking the lighter eli handed him and taking a deep breath, Chas had become aware that what was in his hands was indeed not a rolled cigarette. The pressure that rose up in his throat and chest confirmed his epiphany.  
As Chas slumped over and coughed with the fervor of an old dying man, Eli patted him on the back and smiled. 

"I can't believe you actually did it Chazzy poo, you're cooler than I thought."

"Yeah...If ..doing drugs... is supposed to be cool.." 

Chas placed the words in between coughs as he struggled to open this throat back up. He could feel a faint fogginess rising up his face like heat waves coming off the pavement. He became suddenly aware that Eli was really close to his face once again. Chas fought with every inch of his strength to keep it together and not just stare at Eli's lips as they puckered against the glowing joint.

"Hey, I got an even better idea." Eli said

He smiled like the cheshire cat. Chas tried desperately to figure out if he could categorize Eli's smile as mischievous or confident. He was also becoming very aware that his own lips were either tingling or were completely numb. He couldn't decide. He remembered Eli had just said something. He grew quickly insecure and blurted out the first thing that came to his head.

"Whatever you say cowboy."

Eli's face lit up a little more.

"Let's go to Richie's room."

*******************  
"Ha ha, I mean, if I'm being honest. I can't really remember writing the last three books I put out. For a while I thought someone was playing a prank on me. Turns out mind altering drugs actually alter your...mind."

Chas Tenenbaum and Eli Cash were fully grown adults laying on the ground in a fort made of blankets in what used to be Richie Tenenbaum's room and laughing so hard they were both having trouble catching their breath.

"Wait a second, wait a second, aren't you supposed to be in rehab or something like that?"

"Hey this is medicinal. Besides, of all the things I've done, this is definitely the most healthy. Better this than the peyote express." He chuckled awkwardly. "Plus I have a prescription for it. And mushrooms are from the earth muchacho. I swear in general I've been doing well, I swear."

Chas laughed. He hadn’t let himself laugh that hard in a few weeks. They had spent the last two hours talking about everything and yet absolutely nothing. Eli yammered on about his next book idea. (He really wanted to explore space because he was “Just really really into space.”

Chas sat up.

"Well, this has been fun, really it has, but I bet they'll be back soon Eli. So I think..."

"Look I wanna say something. And, And let me get this out. I know things must be extremely weird for you right now, what with your brother and sister being in love. And Honestly, it's been disheartening for me too. But when, for some reason when I was rolling up this Obama Kush. it occurred to me that we had already been here. We already played this story out. Only last time, for whatever reason, we chose to let go of what was right in front of us. I think life is giving us a second chance here, to write the story so we both get happy endings. And no I don't mean that as a euphemism."

Eli smiled. Chas, incredibly, simply chuckled. 

"Cash, it's been a long time. I don't think things can be the same. We're not kids anymore. There's a lot of risk involved now. I have a family to protect. Not to mention that I know you Eli. I know you better than most. You've always wanted to be a Tenenbaum. You followed Richie and Margot around like you were their puppy. How do I know I'm not just your sloppy second way to feed your obsession with this family?"

Chas fought to keep his eyes as hard as stone while his resolve was chipped away by the genuine sorrow that arose in Eli's eyes. It was Chas Tenenbaum's Achilles's Heel, but he simply removed the proverbial arrow from his proverbial ankle and continued to retain his stern demeanor. Though he couldn't make eye contact. He was no match for those piercing blue eyes and he knew it. He wasn't expecting Eli to surprise him, and for the second time in Richie Tenenbaum's blanket fort.

Eli turned Chas’ head with his hand and kissed him hard. Chas’ own hand immediately began tracing Eli’s chin and cheek and neck. It discovered the silky waves that were Eli’s hair. Eli respectively clung tightly onto Chas’ curly black hair. They backed away and locked eyes. Chas was breathing heavily. Given the fact that he had done some form of exercise, literally, everyday since he was 17, his hastened breath was not from exertion but of pure desire welling up inside him at that moment. Eli smiled. 

“See Chazzy, just like old times.”

****************************************

Chas and Eli were two teenagers, high as a kite, laughing so hard they were struggling to breath inside a blanket fort in Richie Tenenbaum’s room. 

“Ya know Chazzy, I’m glad Richie and Margot wouldn't let… went away to that crummy museum or whatever.”

“Heh heh. Why do you say that?”

“Because now I get to do this.”

Eli rolled over, almost completely, on top of Chas and kissed him. They would continue kissing all that afternoon and many other secret afternoons, the same way they would kiss decades later.


End file.
